Is son the ultimate light of heaven and way to
salvation?
Women right activists say: “NO”
Some decades ago, using terminology
like “women empowerment” used to be regarded as adopting “western”
values. Only few conscious or so-called “elite” women were able to
talk about issues of women’s development, or to put it
broadly—”women empowerment.” Men, then, have always taken the term
for granted. “Let them (women) shout; by nature they are fussy and
keep making noise,” were the words that almost all “intelligent”
men had to say.
But time is not static; it keeps on
changing. With the restoration of democracy, twelve years back,
the country has witnessed changes in all arenas. “Freedom of
speech,” the very essence of democracy, turned out to be the tool
for raising voice not only for political parties but also for
women. Women’s right activists turned more active standing on the
pedestal of democracy and other daring women began coming out of
their shell. The result: Nepali women, now, have attained at least
equal rights to parental property but only till they marry. What
are the new challenges to achieving women empowerment in its real
sense?
Women rights activists put their
answers this way. “Earlier, for instance, talking about women’s
abortion rights was a social taboo. People pointed their finger at
those who happened to be a bit ‘liberal’. Now, Nepali women have
attained not only right to abortion but also to parental
property,” said Sapana Malla Pradhan, President of Forum for
Women, Law and Development (FWLD). She also faced the same
problems - heavy “negative” criticism, and even threat to her
dignity. She was the first person to raise voice against “marital
rape,” for which she had to hear passing remarks from her male
colleagues like “she should be raped to make her understand the
meaning of rape and marital relation.” Her male colleagues even
tried to torture her mentally stating, “any couple before
involving in their private affair should sign a written agreement
and hand it over to Sapana Malla so there will not be the problem
of marital rape.”
It was like seeing nightmares every
other day for an aspiring career-oriented woman like Malla, who is
also an advocate. “I do appreciate healthy comments; even
criticism, for it makes one accountable. One can argue from other
perspectives but passing embarrassing remarks makes one numb; same
thing happened to me as well,” recalls Malla, “Even in marriage
parties I had to face such comments that made me feel as if I was
not a human being. But, I was aware continuous struggle was the
only key to success and I did the same.”
Along with mushrooming educational
institutions, non-governmental organizations proliferated in Nepal
after the restoration of democracy. FWLD is one among hundreds of
other women’s organizations— Maiti Nepal, Legal Aid Consultancy
Centre (LACC), Sancharika Samuha, Saathi, Centre for Research on
Environment Health and Population Activities (CREHPA) and WOREC to
name a few based in the capital. These organizations have been
playing the role of pressure groups in “gender sensitization” and
mainstreaming gender.
“Difficulties were there, but one
had to fight them out and women right activists from various
organizations played that role, not for the educated and conscious
women, but for the marginalized and illiterate women. People from
various social strata even blamed women right activists for
planning to disturb the social fabric when we pressurized for the
parliamentary Bill guaranteeing equal right to women in parental
property,” recalls Malla. “At the Beijing meet, when other
countries were seeking to establish many other rights, even gay
rights, Nepali women were pleading for rights to be treated
equally. Wasn’t that an irony?”
It is observed that women’s right
organizations certainly have been able to influence policy-makers
and create awareness. “Even women in villages are now far more
conscious than they were earlier; many of them take initiatives on
their own,” claims Nirmala Sharma, a representative from
Sancharika Samuha, an organization working to raise women’s issue
in media. Sharma, who herself is a journalist, narrates
difficulties she faced earlier this way: “You can’t imagine!
People did not believe in a woman becoming a reporter earlier.
Whenever a lady went for covering any event or making research for
particular stories, people first asked them about their age,
qualification, residence and all. Question like – ‘how long have
you been in journalism’ used to be very frequent.”
“Now, it’s changing slowly. People at least believe that a woman
also can be a reporter. However, in most Nepali media, women are
still given easier assignments on social issues so that they can
leave for home early - usually before sunset. Such practices
certainly discourage women development. The culture of staying out
late without any work, of course should not be promoted but if one
wants to develop her career and for that if she has to stay back
late in office it should be allowed. If men can perform difficult
work, why can’t women?” she argues. “ I was even asked to leave
the job when I was working in a daily newspaper. But, I did not; I
struggled with my family and was able to convince them, so I am in
this position today.” Sharma is also an executive member of the
Federation of Nepalese Journalists.
Nevertheless, the bottom line is:
Nepali women have not been able to go ahead in an
institutionalized or organized manner. Individual success counts
less when the country still has 68 percent illiterate women
population. It means at least half of the total women population
still believes that they are “service providers” - second class,
not bonafide citizens. Nepali society is still patriarchal, where
the son has a special place, for “he” is regarded as the one to
perform parents’ last rituals. Especially in the Brahmin
community, he is said to be the “way to salvation.” Women
activists say, “Now there are challenges like reaching gender
sensitization approach among those illiterate. Implementing
constitutional rights and law that ensures social and legal rights
at the grassroots level and changing deep rooted conservative
belief like - son is the ultimate light of heaven is the need of
the day.”
