Khajura is situated at half an hour’s drive from Dhamboji, Nepalgunj. The traditional profession of women here is agriculture. They have now taken up different income generating jobs like business, growing seasonal and off-season vegetables and other community development work. Along with the increased awareness of importance of education, both girls and boys, irrespective of caste and religion, are sent to school although the ratio of girl and boy in school is around 30:70. However, one can find a number of educated women in Nepalgunj, working as teachers in the mushrooming private schools. Few have also taken up the challenges of working in local government and non-governmental organisations.

Substantial changes have occurred in the life of women involved in the Centre for Women’s Development (CWD), an MS Nepal partner, and also in the life of the marginalised women, who have become members of the Women’s Saving Groups (WSGs) formed at the initiative of CWD. Women activists here say that income-generating programmes can help raise women’s status only when it is combined with education. CWD’s Working Committee member, Kamala Bhatta did not know what women’s rights is all about. “We started to take adult literacy class; a lady teacher came to teach us. My husband agreed to send me to the class because there was a lady to teach us,” she recalls. “Now we can at least read newspapers and hoarding boards so that no one can cheat us. Can you imagine, I did not know even how to count money?” According to her, there are still many issues to be addressed in her village. Still several families in her village do not encourage women to move ahead independently and involve themselves in community development activities.

However, it is not that things are as difficult as they were earlier. “Earlier it was very difficult to convince male members and society to send out their women folks for training,” said Durga Khatri, “They were afraid to become WSG members but now the situation has changed; women are not shy to come outside the four walls of their homes,” she added.

These women are unanimous that the training programs and schemes like WSG have made them independent and stronger to raise their problems. However, after the state of emergency was declared leading to a state of increased unrest, women like others have not been able to meet in groups regularly. “It caused difficulties in conducting our activities at the local level as meetings and gatherings were prohibited,” says Kendra Gurung who is a field worker at CWD.

Kendra has taken several training in community development and feels she has done a good job. “My husband understood very well that working in community is good, but he still did not like my working as a CWD member earlier. But, later I was able to convince him,” she said. According to her, now her husband wants her to continue her work. He helps her in every way he can. “Villagers get surprised when my husband cooks food,” she elaborates enthusiastically. These women know that even men can work in the kitchen, but do not want their husbands to work in the kitchen. The reason? Age old societal values. “As far as we manage, men are not allowed to do kitchen work but when it is necessary, they have to,” agree these women.

Men whose wives earn and generate relatively good income do help their wives in household chores; and those who are not educated but have better understanding help their female counterparts. But most male members think they have more important job as breadwinners. These men want their wives to serve them from early morning to late evening.

“Parents have at least started sending their children to school. It should be noted as a good beginning,” Sanjeev Karki says. Sanjeev, a teacher and his sister Meena work equally while doing household chores. He believes society will change as today’s children grow up to form a different society. He is tutoring eighteen children (eleven girls and seven boys) since few months back as private coaching. He teaches these children about the role of men and women in building an equitable society. “They should learn that no work at home is small or bad,” he said. “Girls are smarter and hardworking; they come earlier than boys to attend class,” Karki admits, “These girls think their brothers get more love and care from their parents; perhaps the result is that they are hardworking and good at studies.”

Nevertheless, women still have to fight against discriminations they face every now and then. For instance, a boy is never expected to help his mother even if he is free but a girl has to do household chores once her school. A girl in these villages still has to work harder than her brother just because she is a daughter. Sadhana Pyakurel is seven years old and studies in grade one. She does all the kitchen work besides her studies. Similarly, Sarita and Sunita Sunuwar are sisters studying in grade three and four respectively. They have to do all the household work while their brother Top Bahadur enjoys playing games after school hours.

Durga Gharti Magar has to do all the work at home besides going to college. Her elder brother Chitra Bahadur has nothing to do but does not help at home. Her parents say he is a “son” so he behaves like that, and a daughter should be prepared for the future, so she has to work at home. Similar is the view of most villagers interviewed, “A daughter has to learn skills like cooking, cleaning and washing because she has to go to her husband’s house.”

Lack of awareness and low income still keep qualitative education out of the reach of daughters. Sons are sent to private schools to ensure better education and daughters are still sent to government schools where the teacher student ratio 100:1.
Nevertheless one can find men who feel good about helping women. For instance, Ujjwal Dev Bhatta cooks food, cleans the kitchen and even washes the dishes and clothes because his wife hardly gets time to do all these work. According to him, people in his village criticize his work but he does not care. He knows what is right for him to do. “The villagers even say I don’t have manly work to do; but who cares? I know I am not doing anything wrong,” asserted Ujjwal. “It will take time for the villagers to understand why I work. A day will come when they will be following my way.”